A Final Reflection

When I decided to go on a dialogue, I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to study. These two classes being the only electives that I get to take as a nursing major, I wanted to choose something that I had never studied and would never have the opportunity to. With that came nerves, I had the feeling that if I went on a dialogue having no knowledge of the subjects that people might think I’m dumb, or I wouldn’t get good grades in the class, or that I would be confused the entire time. However, I decided to go for it and take a chance by going to South Africa having never learned a single thing about Sociology. I did not even know what apartheid was, or anything about townships, I did not even know that much about the country itself. I was scared of so many things before coming, but I could not have made a better decision.

Upon arriving in Johannesburg, I quickly fell in love with the city. However, after our first few days I just remember feeling constant confusion about what the heck people were talking about. I felt that I was getting bits and pieces of concepts we were studying but I was so confused about how it all fit together or what the big picture was. I remember getting more nerves that I had felt before coming here, worried that I would always be too scared to participate because I was scared that I would say something stupid or offend anyone.

As we saw more and more, and after many discussions, the confusion never went away, but what came from the confusion was constant thinking and reflection. I remember there were some nights in Joburg where I would actually not be able to fall asleep because I was trying to piece ideas together or reflecting on what we had seen that day. This made me more and more engaged as the days went on as I was eager to be able to understand a lot of the things we were studying. I found that I was learning more than I had ever had in such a short amount of time. It was exhausting, but very worth it.

One of my favorite days in Johannesburg was our first day in Soweto, I had so much confusion about townships, I had never seen one before and I had no idea what to expect, which made me kind of nervous. It ended up being my favorite days because that was the first time that I really got to see how kind and welcoming the people of South Africa really are. I never thought that township tourism would be welcome. These people live completely different lives than we do back home. It was amazing getting to hear stories from locals and different perspectives from a new culture. Every time we went into a township they all had the same sense of “Ubuntu” or togetherness that they live. It was admirable that people enjoy living in townships for that sense of community and family.

Johannesburg ending up becoming one of my favorite cities that I had ever visited, I was incredibly sad to leave, but so thankful for all the experiences that we got while there. We had friends to say goodbye to on that last night and I just remember feeling so sad that I had no idea when I was going to see them again, if ever. I learned so much from them not only about the city of Johannesburg, but about African culture and way of living. It reminded me of a quote someone told me right before leaving my last study abroad in Greece; “Your heart will never be at home ever again, that is the price you pay for the richness for loving and knowing people in more than one place.”

When we arrived in Cape Town, I could not have been more shocked. I did not feel like we flew two hours, I felt like we flew all the way home to the United States and were in LA or Miami. I had never felt that sort of culture shock in my life. I felt uncomfortable there, like something wasn’t right. I remember feeling confused again, about how is it possible that the two cities could be so different. That feeling got better, but never completely went away after studying a lot of messed up things about it. I thought it was valuable when Liza told us in Johannesburg that she did not want people who had never studied these issues before to think that they only existed in South Africa and that it was such a messed up country, because these problems exist everywhere, even back home. That really spoke to me because I do remember feeling that way, that this place had so many issues and so many of it was messed up.

That feeling and the confusion that started in Johannesburg did eventually go away, after being able to reflect and keep learning about everything. I found myself feeling what I knew what I was talking about. And the question people asked, “What are you studying here?” got easier to answer. I was able to make so many connections to back home in what we were learning about so South Africa was no longer a “messed up” place, it was just a place that I came to love just as much as the people who live there. Looking back on the whole trip the thing I remember most is the amazing people we got to meet and talk to, who had the most incredible stories. I will come home with a new perspective on life, and to be grateful for what I have, knowing the true power of kindness, and sometimes you are making more of an impact than you think by just doing the little things. I will now look at cities differently, I feel like I know how to analyze spaces and how they are used and for who. All of the things we learned were so incredibly valuable to everyday life. I did not expect to learn as much on this trip as I did. I will return home having broadened my knowledge, with new perspectives, more culturally aware, a new look on education and privilege. It has made me question in what I actually want to major in and what I want to eventually do with my life. The world feels bigger to me now, and I know there is so much to learn and see. I can only hope for the chance of doing another dialogue.

Whenever you are about to leave a place, you get a really strange feeling, its after you completely fall in love with a place. You’ve met amazing friends, gotten to see a new place, and you have grown as a person more than you ever thought you would. There is always the thought that you may never come back ever again, even if you want to. I can only hope that I have the chance to come back to this place that gave me so much. After much time of reflection, I think it would be valuable to come back and see how things have changed and how my thoughts on everything we talk about have developed. I do not think I will ever stop thinking about the experiences we have had here, as they really do apply to everything.

For the past few days I really have tried to think about what the “Right to the City” really means. I have a billion ideas but still not a definite answer. I think it will be something that I am going to have to think about for many months even years to come. I could not have asked for anything more on this trip, it has been the trip of a lifetime, I am so thankful for what I have gotten to see, the people I got to meet, and the knowledge and experiences that I will bring home to share.

Chloe DiMare